Friday, December 31, 2004

Happy "Noir" Year!

Subject: Noir
Like I said, I'm marathoning Noir to close out 2004 and ring in 2005.

This show had such a huge impact on me, mentally and emotionally, that I can't think of anything more appropriate to do on this occasion.

And, of course, it's proving to me once again that it's far and above any other anime out there, at least to me. Even with it's technical imperfections, the show is still, undeniably, perfect. And I've missed it so much.

Last night I finished rewatching Madlax as well. And like I've said before while it was still airing, it's a "juggernaught of awesomeness". And Noir is still better. While trying to leave these two alone for a while and try and sample other shows, I'd lost a little bit of the perspective I had. Coming back to them only proves that what drew me in was for real, not some novelty or illusion.

2005 will bring me a number of decisions to make. Short-term, they'll be simple things like what color tile for the bathroom and what light fixtures for the kitchen, but more substantially, it will be "what do I want to do when I grow up?" Noir has reawakened the deeply buried "real me" that once studied to be an animator and filmmaker. It has me questioning my values and my motivations of these past few years of corporate money-mongering and politicking.

And it has me yearning for the day that I can feel confident in abandoning the comfort of a steady income and plunge into the uncertainty of the pursuit of a creative calling; the creative calling I abandoned so many years ago.

It's hard to give up the security and steadiness of a stable career though. The purchasing power; the ability to buy whatever shiny technological toy or DVD box set I want, whenever I want, is quite an alluring state to be in. Is it any more than a consumerist trap, though? Is it a total sell-out of my soul? I don't know.

Anyway, enough wallowing in this pool of self-doubt and reflection. I still have many hours of Noir to delight in, and for the moment, that's worth everything to me!

A happy New Year to all of you, and may you have luck and peace throughout.

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